To the nation's best kept secret; Your true age.
Birthdays are like boogers, the more you have the harder it is to breathe.
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that people who have the most live the longest!
Times are hard
Here's you friggin birthday card
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
Better to be over the hill than burried under it.
You are only as old as you act.
So many candles... so little cake.
Happy Birthday to you, you live in a zoo, you smell like a monkey, and you look like one too.
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
Happy Birthday on your very special day, I hope that you don't die before you eat your cake.
You're another year older and another year wiser
So put your brain to work
And figure out there ain't no gift for you.
Two tips on your birthday:
1) Forget the past, you can't change it.
2) Forget the present, I didn't get you one.
Some words of wisdom for your birthday, "Smile while you still have teeth!"
Happy Birthday you old fart.
You would have loved the gift I didn't bother getting you.
Another year, another new place thet aches.
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One more year of existence down the drain. Happy Birthday!
The only reason you hate your birthday is because people give you odd gifts, scary cards with weird messages in them, and because you're getting older. Anyway, Happy Birthday!
It's ok to light the candles on your birthday cake now; I've already alerted the fire department.
With age comes wisdom. (You're one of the wisest people I know!)
I was trying to think of what to get you for your birthday but nothing came to mind.
Funny Birthday MessagesDon't think of it as getting older, think of it as becoming a classic.
An old fart is as good as a new one.
You've survived another year. Although you're older, it's better than the alternative. Congratulations!
You age like cheese... You just keep getting smellier!
Is it getting hotter in here or is it just all the candles on your cake?
There were a lot of famous people born on your birthday. Too bad you aren't one.
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The younger you try to look; the older you actually are.
Another year older, none the wiser.
Happy birthday to you
You live in a zoo
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one too
Enjoy your birthday cake today since tomorrow we'll return to judging you based on every single morsel you ingest.
Happy Birthday! You're one year closer to your death day.
I'm not going to make any age related jokes because I genuinely feel bad about how old you are.